just john

I was thinking that today. I think it often, likely because I have the time. I certainly didn't come here for things to suck or for my personal life and relationships in the U.S. to fall apart. Working in a foreign country is an enormous strain on all the ties you have with the people who didn't come with you. That part does suck.

When I came to work for *Company X* I knew there would be the potential for an expatriate assignment. Call it a personal and career goal. My grandfather worked abroad, often six months at a time, while my grandmother stayed in the U.S. She never went with him until much later in life in spite of having the freedom to do so. Forty some-odd years of marriage later they both died, still happily married. I wonder sometimes if I'll ever get that same opportunity instead of the patchwork of non-federal crap that may or may not benefit me now.

Coming here at the point of life I am in was selfish. It was a singular act of self-centered opportunism which I do, in fact, feel guilty about.

Coming here was an almost incomparable opportunity. I have the rare chance to learn about life in a foreign culture with almost marital intimacy. No amout of tourism or travel can ever take the place of actually living here.

Coming here is sad some days. I miss my normal life and the people who filled it. When I call them in the evenings, they are still at work, un-relaxed and often not terribly conversive by simple virtue of still being at work. The rythm of our moods are no longer in sync.

Coming here is life-changing. It turns out the rest of the world is often as modern and more (or less) progressive in it's legislation. I despise the period of history the U.S. is living through but I know it is necessary and ultimately beneficial.

Coming here was simply a decision. I made it not entirely alone and the consequences extend beyond me. My time here is short, 17 more months, and filled with diversion but other days it seems like an eternity. Especially when I cannot be near the people I care about.